You could shave your head completely bald and liberally pour whatever-bald-people-pour-on-their-head-to-make-them-look-shiny-it-reminds-me-of-oil to make it look shiny and hope it catches on.
Nah, that wouldn't happen (the catching on, that is). Hope someone as famous as Elvis Presley (?!) wears the same hairstyle so you could be fashionable, or hope you become famous as Elvis Presley so that the hairstyle would be fashionable, or hope that someone labels you as a trendsetter. Albeit a fail one. But that's not the point.
Or - there's always the easiest option - become a hermit and hide in your house forever and never venture out so you wouldn't have to worry about facing people with your hair. Or the lack of. Your wife can do the grocery shopping for you. You could cook in return. I hope that you can cook then.
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